Somehow You Do

(If it wasn't for the dentist/endodontist, this week wouldn't have been so bad.)

Surgeon, Dentist, Endodontist, Tests and a Celebration

Surgeon

March 29th (Tuesday)

I worked the morning, took Seth his lunch and then Sandy rode up with me to the appointment at CC.  Robert was able to meet us there on his way home from work. My surgeon is perfect for the team!  We will call her DC. She gave more information and lots of medical jargon, but now that we have been able to process a few things, we were able to ask better questions and learn more about the cancer and treatment.  She did classify it as stage 3, but stated to not get caught up on stages.  They really don't mean anything in severity and treatment.  Stage 3 was really determined by of the size of the tumor and because it is in more than one place. Treatment plan will remain the same.

Dentist and Endodontist

March 30th (Wednesday)

This was the most anxiety ridden day of the week.  My dentist appointment was first thing at 8:00am in Festus.  There was little talk of addressing the tooth with the most damage.  I knew it would need a root canal, but I was hopeful for a filling.  Another option would have been to pull the tooth (Which I was willing to do because it would have been so much cheaper.)  The dentist called my oncologists office while I was there to make sure whatever we chose would be the best and safest option.  

My only real option was root canal because it would heal faster than pulling and leaving a gaping hole.  Okay, okay...I get it and I can get through it.  She called my prefered endo to see if his office could get me in anytime soon.  Chemo was seven days and counting.  He was my preferred endo because he repaired a post last year in my front tooth (the same tooth that has caused so much of my anxiety over the years.)  He did it nearly painlessly and I was grateful!  Low and behold he had a 1:15pm appointment at his south county office and I grabbed that spot!  

We finished at the dentist with a minor filling and a reseating of a loose crown.  I would like to say it was painless, but she had to work on both sides of my mouth.  I was numb, but stressed.  She hoped it would wear off a bit so I could get something to eat before the next appointment.  Best-laid plans and all, it didn't really pan out.  I was still fairly numb walking into the south county office.  I didn't figure that was a bad thing, though.  Well, it wouldn't have been, but they were running a little behind.  So by the time I was sitting in the chair, I was barely numb and fairly sore. 

Now, they had called me and given me and estimate over the phone.  Pretty much exactly what I thought it would be, so I had moved and found money for the appointment.  This helped so much with my anxiety.  I even opted to pay for the nitrous oxide because I knew it would help keep me settled a bit with everything going on that day.  It was about this time when they walked in to tell my it would be another $400 because the dentist wanted them to do the build up since I probably wouldn't be able to get back to them before chemo.  It was at this point that I lost several of my marbles.  I cried to the woman that I did not bring another $400. I think she rightfully panicked at my reaction.  I get it, $400 is not much, but I think she could have told me it was $20 and I would have had the same reaction.  I was not ready for another curveball!

I will remind you of how well my mindset has been though absolutely everything so far.  I was on a path, and I didn't want to stray from that path.  The dentist and endo were already a detour and I was proud of myself for dealing with that addition, but when it comes to telling my husband I spent anything more than was planned, I was bound to loose it!  I don't know why, he might grumble, but he would not be mad.  It's one of my irrational fears that he would be angry.  All of those thoughts went through my head so fast!  I calmed almost immediately, gained my composure and told her it was fine, I just needed to move a few things around.  It was just fine, but I had to have my 30 second meltdown first!

Nitrous was applied and I tried to close everthing off while he was working.  I don't think it really helped.  I was hyperfocused on his disscussion with the hygenist in the room on the best way to apply the barriers in my mouth.  It seemed to go on forever.  I guess it was good I was thinking about that, and not what was going on in my mouth.  They finished up and I paid (way too much money) and walked out.  No, I wasn't feeling the best, but I was so happy it was done! (I am sure you are too!  That's way too much tooth talk!  I was stressed about it, so I knew it would take up most of this blog.)

The next day, I was back to work for a productive Thursday!  Robert and Josie were both in town, so we were able to meet for lunch.  Lunch date days are always great days!

More Tests and a Road Trip

April 1st (Friday)

I didn't fall for one single April fools joke.  (I really wish this could all be one big joke!)

We started planning a trip to Arkansas a few weeks ago.  We were hoping to start the weekend early on Friday by heading south.  Well, things change a lot lately and this day got all jumbled up!  I had a regular yearly checkup at 11:00am (I almost cancelled it, but because of the way everything has played out, I thought I should go ahead and get it over with.)  I'm glad I went!  She was so nice to talk to about everything!  My next appointment was at 2:00pm for the echocardiogram and the 4:00pm for my CT scan.  Then, we would finally be able to get on the road!

I ran home after the first appointment and finished packing.  Robert and I headed back over the the hospital about 1:00pm.  They were running a little late for my echo, so I started to loose hope in getting everything done on time.  But then, they came out to give me the contrast drink for my CT so we would be able to move straight into that after the echo was complete (That was a really good sign, because from what I gather, you need to do the CT within a certain timefram once you start drinking.)  So, I went into the echo a little late, but then went almost immediately into the CT scan afterwards.  Both tests went really smoothly and we were out the door very early.  I think we were almost to Farmington before my last appointment was supposed to start!  We made it safely to Conway, AR by about 10pm.

Celebration

April 2nd (Saturday)

Started the day with breakfast with lots of family.  Then, went to watch my great nephew play soccer.  Such cute little kiddos running all over that field.  Finally made it to my sister in laws house to celebrate the wedding of my nephew Ethan and his wife Jenna.  They are actually celebrating their two year anniversary today (4/4/22.)  Their wedding day was highjacked by the virus who must not be named!  We all sat in our living rooms two years ago and watched the ceremony.  I am so happy life is getting back to normal! (Yes, I realize the statement is not really true for me.  My normal is just going to have to be different!)

We started the next day with a 2nd birthday party for another great nephew and then we were on the road and headed home.  So blessed to have been able to spend the weekend loving on family.  We shared so many funny stories and made more we will never forget. Since we don't know what to expect moving forward, I wanted to get in as much time with them as possible.

Enjoy a few pictures. (Who knew we all hold our pizza wrong!?!)

Tonight we are going out for mexican with friends.  I truly do have the best support system a girl could want or need!  I wouldn't trade them for anything!  (I might sell one for a camper, though! - That's a story I will share closer to Memorial Day.)

A few things to note:

• Chemo starts Wednesday.  My only anxiety is not knowing what to expect.  Once we get over the hump of this first day, I don't think it will be so bad.
• I am planning to get sick so that if I don't, I will be very happy.
• Watch/listen to the Reba song below.  It hit me out of nowhere this week and is a little too relavent.
• Why do dentists cost so much?  I swear my anxiety would be slightly less if it wasn't for paying the bill.  Insurance covers so little!
• Some people have asked if they can do anything.  At some point, we might need a meal or two and we will reach out.  Prayers are the absolute best gift, but if you want to send something, I have made an Amazon wish list.  It is nothing major, mainly snacks, drinks and supplies for chemo/sick days. It can be found HERE. (If you can think of something I should add, just let me know! I am sure I will be adjusting as the weeks progress.)
• If I find out I can bring people to chemo, you might get a phone call!